become my drug that I needed every single day, and when I didn't get it I felt fat and weak, and viewed myself a failure. 

 

Alongside this, my perfectionist tendencies led me down a dangerous path with food. I controlled my diet as strictly as I did my exercise regime, getting a kick out of denying myself "guilty pleasures" and believing that I had the strength of character to deny myself the foods I secretly fantasized about. At times, the pressure to restrict and control got the better of me and I'd lose control altogether, bingeing manically only to purge myself of my overwhelming sense of guilt and disgust. These emotions motivated me to run double the miles the next day. Indeed, swinging between anorexia and bulimia, abusing my aching body with harsh exercise, and self-deprivation was the reality of my life throughout my twenties.

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I did hit my rock bottom. In a rehabilitation centre in Cape Town, I received counselling and treatment for my addictive behaviours and am immensely grateful for the tools I learned there. But what I am most  grateful for was a single Nia class one Sunday morning in that rehab. That one class  touched me in a way that no other modality of therapy had ever done, and inspired me to take my white belt training in 2007.

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I returned to Beijing where I had been living and working for years, and began my Nia teaching path. My recovery from addiction was long, and with plenty of setbacks. But the more I practiced and shared Nia, the happier, more balanced and healthier I became. The easier I found it to get out of my stinking-thinking head and trust my own bones. To be guided by my own sensations and not some numbers on the bathroom scale. To love my body the way it is, and to want to nurture it rather than punish it. The self-healing and self-love I have received and continue to receive though this practice every single day of my life is profound. 

 

For me, Nia has everything I want out of a fitness practice and more. It conditions, strengthens and tones my entire body like no other practice I know. Even my fingers, toes, and skin. It gives my brain a workout! It teaches me about how my body is put together and how it all works, so that I am informed about my body. It gives me the gift of awareness so that I can perceive what my body needs at any moment. The space to play like a five year old kid again. Joy and pleasure. It calms my busy head when I'm thinking too much, and soothes me when I'm feeling emotional. It allows me the freedom to reach out and touch my potential. It always brings me home to my body.

 

In 2017 I decided to  make the jump to a fulltime career with Nia. I moved from China to Siem Reap, Cambodia, where I live with my partner and three Khmer cats, and dance every day in my beautiful wooden house. I teach Nia classes daily to people from all over the world, in which I get to share the joy of movement with others, and inspire people to fully inhabit their own bodies.